{"id":6552,"date":"2010-08-05T15:26:36","date_gmt":"2010-08-05T19:26:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nomadicmatt.com\/?p=6552"},"modified":"2024-07-06T11:04:20","modified_gmt":"2024-07-06T15:04:20","slug":"meeting-people-here-and-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nomadicmatt.com\/travel-blogs\/meeting-people-here-and-there\/","title":{"rendered":"Meeting People: The Real World vs Travel World"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"two<\/p>\n

One of my favorite parts about traveling<\/a> is the ability to meet a diverse range of people<\/a>. <\/p>\n

In hostels<\/a>, on tours, on buses, sitting at caf\u00e9s, or at bars, when you travel it\u2019s easy to make new friends. So easy that sometimes you feel like you have friend overload. <\/p>\n

There is always<\/em> someone around.<\/p>\n

You are never truly alone. <\/p>\n

On the road<\/a>, you also find very little pretense. No one has their guard up. No one questions your motives or wonders what you are after. There is just you \u2014 as you are in that moment. A simple hello and before you know it, you are traveling with people for months.<\/p>\n

Travel creates opportunities to meet people you wouldn\u2019t give a second thought to walking down the street. It strips away the artifice and lets you walk away with some of the best friends you\u2019ll ever know\u2014friends who will be there your whole life, ready to pick up right where you left off whenever you happen to meet up again. <\/p>\n

Yet back home, in “the real world”, I often find the opposite. Saying hello or engaging strangers in conversation is usually met with a stare. \u201cWhy is this person talking to me? What do they want?\u201d People put up barriers and question motives. No one is as open as they are on the road.<\/p>\n

Once I was home in Boston<\/a>\u00a0at a bar with my friends. One night, I was out with my friends and grappling with thoughts like these. Across the bar, I saw a guy wearing a red shirt with a golden star in the front. It\u2019s the Vietnam flag shirt, and nearly every backpacker in Southeast Asia has it. It\u2019s up there with the Laos beer singlet or the \u201csame same but different\u201d shirt. It\u2019s worn as a badge of honor. A symbol that you\u2019re a member of the travel tribe.<\/p>\n

I decided to strike up a conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey man! Nice shirt. You backpacked Southeast Asia, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, how did you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got that same shirt in Vietnam too. I just came back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere did you go?,\u201d he said ecstatically. <\/p>\n

\u201cEverywhere! I was there for nearly a year.\u201d<\/p>\n

Like two soldiers who find each other amid a sea of \u201ccivilians\u201d who will never understand what we\u2019ve been through, we swapped war stories from the road, trying to see where our trips overlapped, what bars we remembered, and which places we each knew the other didn\u2019t. We were playing that immortal game of \u201cI\u2019m a better traveler because\u2026.\u201d We traded stories about \u201chidden gems\u201d the other one missed, and off-the-beaten-path highlights. But though games like these might look competitive, they\u2019re really affectionate, full of the mutual recognition of kindred spirits who share the same priorities in life. When I explained my feelings about being back home, he understood just what I was going through\u2014he\u2019d been through the same.<\/p>\n

After about ten minutes of conversation, I wished him well and went back to my friends, happy to have met someone who shared my experience and understood how I was feeling.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho was that guy?\u201d my friends asked. <\/p>\n

No, I didn’t know him. We were simply talking about Vietnam. My friends, perplexed by this, replied with only a word: weird. I had broken some social rule simply by doing what travelers around the world do every day.<\/p>\n

Among travelers, there is a certain camaraderie. We understand each other. We\u2019re used to talking to strangers. That’s just what you do. So I stopped and talked to this guy\u00a0about backpacking Asia. It\u2019s not often you meet Americans who have been in the region. I think I can count on both hands the number of such Americans I’ve met. He was friendly and we hit it off. It was almost as if\u00a0we<\/em> had traveled together.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"a<\/p>\n

Talking to girls is even worse. Their first thought is always \u201cWhat does this guy want? Is he trying to sleep with me?\u201d I totally understand that. Most guys, especially guys at bars, are<\/em> trying to hit on them and take them home. They are sketch balls. An innocent conversation at a bar is never innocent even when it is. <\/p>\n

Yet on the travel trail, I have and see tons of innocent conversations between the sexes that revolve anything and everything. Striking up a conversation with a girl isn’t about a hidden agenda, it’s simply about making new friends.<\/p>\n

Coming back home to this mindset has been difficult. You\u2019re used to the openness of travelers and the conversations with perfect strangers. It\u2019s a friendly environment. But back home these situations aren\u2019t easily replicated. Every Sunday, I go to a bar in New York City<\/a>‘s East Village to watch HBO’s True Blood<\/em>. Once after the show was over, I tried talking to some of the people. They made small talk but seemed in a rush to get this stranger out of their midsts. I got the hint.<\/p>\n

Then I think maybe it’s me.<\/p>\n

Maybe this is in my head and I’m just really socially awkward. <\/p>\n

Maybe I smell. <\/p>\n

But when I ask other travelers who are reintegrating into life back home, they say\u00a0the same thing. They speak of the weird looks they get and the walls people put up. Readjusting after extended time away is already difficult, and this just makes it harder.<\/a><\/p>\n

One of the greatest joys\u00a0of traveling the world is that it makes you comfortable talking\u00a0with strangers.<\/a> It makes you more outgoing and more at ease.\u00a0We get good at making new friends.<\/p>\n

Coming home<\/a> to the opposite\u00a0way of thinking\u00a0is\u00a0quite an adjustment, one I don’t really like. It’s off-putting. You have to work to break down barriers. People always think the worst. Few people seem interested in just having a conversation for the sake of having a conversation.<\/p>\n

But maybe it is situational. <\/p>\n

When you are home, you have your friends. You have your group of allies and people. You don’t need to meet anyone knew. We’re so busy during our week we don’t have time to strike up random friendships that often.<\/p>\n

On the road, we have a lot of time and few people. We’re alone out there. <\/p>\n

And we’re looking for someone to pass the time with. To be best friends, even if just for a moment. In that sphere, of course<\/em> we’re going to talk to everyone and everyone. We have to. We don’t have a choice. <\/p>\n

While I understand the situational difference, I still wish it was easier to meet people back at home. I wish everyone had that traveler openness in them. <\/p>\n

But they don’t. <\/p>\n

They don’t need to. <\/p>\n

Nothing is going to change that. <\/p>\n

But, after seven weeks back in America<\/a>, this way of thinking making me long for the road ever more.
\n 
\n

How to Travel the World on $75 a Day<\/span><\/h3>
\"How<\/div>

My New York Times<\/em> best-selling book to travel will teach you how to master the art of travel so that you\u2019ll get off save money, always find deals, and have a deeper travel experience. It\u2019s your A to Z planning guide that the BBC called the \u201cbible for budget travelers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Click here to learn more and start reading it today!<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/p>\n

\n

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks<\/h4>\n

Book Your Flight<\/strong>
\nFind a cheap flight by using Skyscanner<\/a>. It’s my favorite search engine because it searches websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is being left unturned. <\/p>\n

Book Your Accommodation<\/strong>
\nYou can book your hostel with Hostelworld<\/a>. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com<\/a> as it consistently returns the cheapest rates for guesthouses and hotels. <\/p>\n

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance<\/strong>
\nTravel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:<\/p>\n